Top 10: Christmas Movies

First, let me start out by saying that all of these movies are great, but there has to be a pecking order when it comes to the best. No, I will not add Batman Returns or the claymation movies. “Why not the claymation ones Daniel?” I don’t like them. In my book, they aren’t really movies, they’re more of just stories in claymation. I’ve also included the release date as well as the current Rotten Tomatoes score (percentage of total positive reviews) for each cinematic adventure. Enjoy the list and feel free to post your favorites.

10. Home Alone (1990) – 47%
I hate this movie, but it holds a special place in my childhood so it HAS to make the list. My favorite quote from this atrocity, only because the picture of the girl cracks me up every time:

“Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!”

9. A Christmas Story (1983) – 88%
Honestly, this one barely even makes my list. I can tolerate seeing it one, MAYBE, two times each year before I’m ready to strangle Ralphie. The entire movie, for me, is made in two scenes: One. The father’s prized lamp. Two. Ralph beats the snot out of the bully.

“Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word!”

8. Scrooged (1988) – 63%
Billy Murray as Frank Cross in a modernization of the classic novel A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Frank Cross runs a US TV station which is planning a live adaptation of Dickens’ Christmas Carol. Frank’s childhood wasn’t a particularly pleasant one, and so he doesn’t really appreciate the Christmas spirit. With the help of the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, Frank realizes he must change.

“James Cross: You know what they say about people who treat other people bad on the way up? Frank Cross: Yeah, you get to treat ‘em bad on the way back down too. It’s great, you get two chances to rough ‘em up.”

7. Die Hard (1988) – 94%
Bruce Willis, in his bad ass style, mows down a bunch of terrorists on Christmas Eve. Enough said.

“Hans Gruber: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly. John McClane: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.”

6. Elf (2003) – 84%
A great holiday comedy, destined to be a minor classic. This razzle-dazzle fantasy by actor-director Jon Favreau tells the off-center tale of a human, played by a rather fey Will Ferrell, raised by Santa’s elves, who at age 30 goes off in search of his father, a New York City book publisher played by a weary-looking James Caan. Much hilarity ensues, as the merry Ferrell teaches the frumpy Caan the true meaning of Christmas. Some hysterically funny moments, such as Caan coming upon Ferrell sleeping in Gimbel’s (yes, Gimbel’s!) window and Ferrell running full-tilt into a steel locker after surprising Zooey Deschanel in the shower. This film owes nothing to Saturday Night Life, thank God, being wholly original in thought and content and character. By the way, the movie is just this side of being a musical, which will surprise and delight many moviegoers. The soundtrack is great, filled with memorable holiday tunes including a nice duet of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” featuring Ferrell and Deschanel.

“It’s just like Santa’s workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms… and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me..”

5. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) – 62%
“Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa’s sleigh on its way in from New York City. Eddie: You serious, Clark?”

4. Love Actually (2003) – 63%
I’m a guy, a straight guy, which means I like movies where stuff gets blown up, and this is quite simply one of my favorite movies. It’s not for everyone, as the writing is clever and will probably go over the heads of some, but what an amazing film this truly turns out to be. If you don’t feel good after watching this movie, you’re probably an ignorant schmutz. Amazing acting and an intricate series of subplots cleverly woven together to show the different sides of “love” is the idea behind it. In fact, it’s one of the better comedies on the “romantic comedy” scale. In the long run it turns out to be more of a romantic comedy than a Christmas movie, but that’s a-okay. If you like to be entertained and moved, and every movie doesn’t have to have people and property blown to bits, watch it.

“But wouldn’t it be great if Number One this Christmas wasn’t some smug teenager, but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price?”

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) – 100%
The Grinch is iconic. I can’t think of another movie, currently, that has turned a word into a description for someone. “Don’t be such a Grinch.” Not only that, but it holds a perfect Rotten Tomatoes score. Not an easy feat, especially for a cartoon!

“You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. Mr. Grinch.”

2. White Christmas (1954) – 74%
Wallace and Davis. Army buddies turned entertainment duo. I can’t help but laugh just thinking about the scene where the boys go to see Betty and Judy do their “sisters” act. The ladies evade their landlord and local sheriff by Wallace and Davis distracting everyone by performing their “sisters” act. Still to this day it is one of the most memorable comedic song-and-dance scenes in cinema. The movie rounds out with the gang holding a variety show at a lodge in Vermont hoping for snowfall to help rejuvenate business for the owner, an old army colleague. How can you go wrong with a movie where Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby dress in drag and perform a song-and-dance number? You can’t.

“Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you going to learn that girls like that are a dime a dozen? Davis: Please, don’t quote me the price when I haven’t got the time.”

1. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) – 95%
Not only does this rank as the best Christmas movie of all time, but as one of the best movies ever made in general. From following George Bailey through his struggle to find that life is the world’s most precious gift to the development of every character, this movie just plain rocks. Every time I finish this movie I feel good, like I’m happy to be alive. Interesting side fact, did you know that the Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie got their names from this flick? It’s a masterpiece. There, I said it. If you haven’t seen it, punch yourself. After waking up from knocking yourself out, which you should be punching that hard if you haven’t seen It’s a Wonderful Life and YES it should be in the face, then run out and buy it. Don’t Netflix it. Buy it. This is a movie that you and your family will want to watch every year around Christmas time. Are you a man? You’ll love this movie because George Bailey stands up for what he believes in. He sacrifices everything he loves for his friends and family. George Bailey is a man. Are you a woman? Mary Hatch knows what she wants. She’s determined, passionate and won’t be pushed around. Seriously, on both sides of the ball you have a great movie so why are you still reading this and not watching it? My favorite quote from this movie is as follows:

“Dear George, remember no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings, Love Clarence.”

Best Foods for Healthy Eating

It’s often that people will send me an e-mail or call me up on the “tele” (everything sounds so much better in Brit slang) to ask me questions about fitness or health. Usually, this is from a family member or close friend, but lately I’ve started to receive Twitter @mentions asking for the same information from people I’m just meeting.

First, let’s remember that being healthy is not just a “for one week I’ll eat healthy” type of decision. Being fit, healthy and in shape is a lifestyle choice. Also, just eating healthy is not enough (even though I consider it to be the most important pillar of being in shape.. and the hardest.) You must be active! Get your body in motion. Find the activities that you love to do that get your heart rate up like running, rowing, lifting weights, swimming, sports, cycling, etc. Combine that with a healthy diet and you will be on your way to feeling better than you ever have before. You will sleep better, feel better, have more energy, be more confident and be happier. I guarantee it.

In regards to this list: it was compiled from several health magazines and websites that I have used over the last few years that I have found beneficial to me for a better diet. I, wholeheartedly, believe that a reason we eat poorly is due to a lack of knowledge for what is actually “okay” for us to buy when deciding to eat better. This list is a tool that I have used when shopping at the grocery store to put me on the right path to a healthy eating lifestyle. Of course, it isn’t perfect and not everything on here is the supreme/perfect healthiest choice, but it’s a great place to start for anyone. Each section is broken down by type of food, best food, a short description or some details and then a break down of nutrition facts.

Hopefully, you will find this beneficial in your decision to better yourself.

Best Foods for Healthy Eating – The list of foods in MS Word form for your printing needs

Healthy Log – Excel spreadsheet of a daily log to keep track of your healthy habits

Four Loko … Why did I do this?

There comes a time in every boy’s life where he reaches the gates of manhood. Most find this entry through a father, or father-like figure, taking them through an experience of sorts along the lines of a walk-a-bout or camping trip. Maybe for you it was the first time you were allowed to take out the 67′ Mustang? The time you had your first religious experience? When you met the love of your life? …or, quite possibly, was it the first time you decided to do something so stupid that you can’t even remember it?

Tonight, well, tonight is the night I become a man. Not only will I be paralleling a religious experience with a blackout, but I will attempt to log the process of what Four Loko does to a person for your knowledge. I would be naive to assume that this will not only entertain you, but also frighten you. My hopes are that through my experience with the drink they’ve nicknamed “blackout in a can” that you find humor first and foremost, and then tragically you will gain an understanding of the dangers of Four Loko through my stupidity.

Four Loko’s potential danger comes from mixing a stimulant (caffeine) with a depressant (alcohol). When alcohol and caffeine are combined people report feeling reduced sensations typically associated with alcohol believed to result from caffeine counteracting the depressive effects thus keeping the individual more alert. However, when the caffeine wears off the person feels the full effects of the alcohol. This can lead to excess consumption of alcohol because the delayed feeling of drunkenness leads an individual to seek additional alcohol to obtain the same sensations as those found in previous encounters.

Let me preface my experience with this: I can drink. A lot. I know my limitations VERY well and I’m careful when I do consume alcoholic beverages. I’m also a very active athlete. I consume a lot of water throughout the day, have a very strict, healthy diet and I exercise regularly. My mind/body was not ready for what I did.

Drinking is not smart. Drinking Four Loko is not smart. You should not drink it. You should not hang out with anyone who drinks it. It is dangerous and stupid, but I did it and you get to read what happened.

There can only be one..

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.